Tag: action

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Madame Web (2024)

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Not every character who has graced the pages of a comic book needs an origin story. Many characters can be fleshed out from page to screen successfully when their tale is interwoven with another’s. The back and forth, like the ebb of the tides, is a manner of storytelling that (when done correctly) creates intrigue, character development, a good pace, and investment in the unfolding story. Sony’s Madame Web is absolutely none of these things! 

In Madame Web, the main character is Cassandra Webb (Johnson), a paramedic partnered with Ben Parker (Scott). Yes, that Ben Parker. The film thinks it’s set in 2003. However, multiple pop culture references throughout the film indicate that research and continuity meant nothing to the movie’s creators. So, let’s stick with 2003. While Ben’s character is largely inconsequential to the film, it’s a nice nod to his character being depicted by someone other than an old man. 

The hot mess of a storyline centers around Cassandra, aka Cassie, trying to save three teenage girls, Julia (Sweeney), Anya (Merced), and Mattie (O’Connor), from a man in a black bodysuit, Ezekiel (Rahim). Spider-man doesn’t exist yet and won’t for a while, so I’m not saying spider-suit because it creates the wrong image in your mind. Ezekiel has powers and visions of the three girls above killing him one day, though, in his vision, they are much older and have powers of their own. To survive, he has to kill them first. No other motivation or explanation exists. There is also zero indication of how these three women will one day become versions of Spider-Woman. Putting the three of them in costumes for less than a minute of screen time and overhyping that in the trailer is nothing short of catfishing by the studio. 

Isabela Merced, Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, & Celeste O’Connor in ‘Madame Web.’ Image: Sony via hollywoodreporter.com

This story has no character development, thus no creation of intrigue of what will happen next to any of the characters, so you’re not invested in the outcome of any of them. This is all on top of Cassie’s clairvoyant powers, which are so heavily visualized in the film, so there is no tension or suspense because you already know what will happen or not. 

Sony does what they want with the Marvel characters they own the licensing rights to. The problem is that despite doing films with these characters “in association with Marvel,” Sony doesn’t ever seem to care about how much better their characters could be or how much money they could make by not cutting off their own nose to spite their face. For example, in the comics, Madame Webb is a mutant. Given that Marvel will hopefully utter the “M” word at some point in a live-action project again one day, why would Sony create this origin story? Not all roads need to intersect, but why try and fix what isn’t broken? Cassie’s origin in Sony’s telling undermines the iconic and older origins of Peter Parker’s Spider-Man. Considering how well each iteration of his storyline has done for Sony over the last twenty years, it’s not a leap to wonder why.

Dakota Johnson in ‘Madame Web’ Image: Sony via ImdB.com

Rahim’s Ezekiel is the primary source of terrible audio dubbing throughout Madame Web, though he’s not the only character. So, in films, when it’s too loud to catch a line an actor has said, or when it gets muddled during an action sequence, actors go into a studio after the fact and re-say their lines so they are clear and understandable. Good audio editors will add them and match the words with the mouth movements, and the audience is none the wiser except when it’s not. Even worse is when the studio is too lazy or cheap to reshoot the scene in question when that doesn’t match up, or the lines are outright changed long after the scene has been shot. In foreign films, I get it. When it happens in the original language of the project, no. 

Holding up Ezekiel to every other actor who has depicted a Marvel villain associated with Spider-Man, he sucks. There is no comparison between him and William Dafoe or James Franco’s Goblins. Madame Web’s attempt at a bad guy is a first-year film school lesson on what not to do. Madame Webb as a character should have been performed by someone able to play indifference well. Dakota Johnson gives off that vibe without any effort. As for the teenage trio, they run around with little to do than bicker. 

Tahar Rahim in ‘Madame Web’ Image: Sony via superherohype.com

Sony won’t, but Marvel should forget this film ever happened in terms of reusing characters and introducing them later into the MCU. Retcon this movie, relegate it to someplace in the multiverse no one will ever visit. Except to recast Sydney Sweeney as Felicia Hardy/BlackCat one day. Next to Morbius (another Sony/Marvel film so terrible I won’t even review it), Madame Webb is a hot mess unworthy of your time or higher brain functions and has no place on your watchlist. Sony really should stick to making TVs and audio speakers and not on filmmaking; it’s not where they shine.

  • A Pen Lady

Director: S.J. Clarkson  Rated: PG-13  Runtime: 1h 56m  Studio: Sony/Marvel Studios  Screenwriter: Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless, Claire Parker  Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Adam Scott, Emma Roberts

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Blue Beetle (2023)

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Some debate exists that franchise movies are what’s wrong with modern cinema, that they’ve poisoned the well of what a well-crafted story should be. That growing character arcs and constant leveraging of world-building should be reserved for television. While I could start with Star Wars as an example for the sake of that debate, I won’t. Instead, I’ll focus on the beast that is comic book adaptations. Enter DC’s Blue Beetle.

Blue Beetle is the second-to-last of the projects greenlit by the previous DC bosses at Warner Brothers. Based on how it did at the box office, it will not make its way into James Gunn and Peter Safran’s rebooting of DC projects within the studio. Perhaps I was naive, but I hoped they would get this movie right. That hope was in vain, like Wonder Woman 84.

If you’ve ever seen the TV series Young Justice, you can understand where I hoped they’d go with this film; with massive tweaking, sure, but an entry point for new and younger characters and stories. The origin story for that Blue Beetle is vastly different from the one in the movie. The movie version brings nothing new to the plot. An ancient alien artifact is found, and some evil family member who runs a powerful company wants to use it for evil and greediness. It’s a tired vehicle to introduce a character/plot; frankly, it’s insulting. If you’re going to use something that audiences have seen before (over and over again), you must add something to make it fresh. 

Xolo Maridueña as Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle in DC’s ‘Blue Beetle.’ Image: DC via IMdB.com

Blue Beetle is lackluster and cliché. The fight scenes are boring and predictable, and basing them off a video game didn’t transfer well to real life, in this case. If you are familiar with Jaime Reyes’s character, you know it takes him ages to get along with the Blue Scarab, and when it’s allowed to let loose on enemies, kicks ass. This version had kid gloves on and is still pulling punches. There is so much wasted potential here, like everything Warner Brothers touches regarding DC projects. The only positive I have is that the suit looks awesome.

Aside from the fact I’m not a George Lopez fan, who is just as predictably annoying as I’d expect as Uncle Rudy, nothing stands out to me about the performances of the rest of the cast. This is one of those instances where I won’t judge the cast on what I’d call mediocre performances, at best, because it’s not their fault the story sucks. Changing a bit of Jaime’s family dynamic for the film to include a larger Latino representation was (in theory) wonderful. Why not? Yet, when a movie ends up being terrible, it comes off more as a missed opportunity because audiences like to forget or rag on films that bomb.

Carapax (Raoul Trujillo) looks like a Transformers knock-off instead of a DC villain in ‘Blue Beetle.’
Image: DC via wegotthiscovered.com

My hope, if Gunn and Safran did reuse these characters in their reboot, would be to get to the origins of the Scarab and introduce that into the DCEU. There is so much potential with established characters (we don’t need an origin story for everyone) and their protégés. It would be a fantastic on-ramp to many aspects of what Warner Brothers has epically failed to do for decades, mainly because it moves away from Batman. I’m probably being too naive again, but DC makes it easy to buy into the ‘franchises killed good story writing argument.’ 

Blue Beetle is the cinematic equivalent of going to eat a hardboiled egg only to find it’s still raw because you forgot to turn the stove on. You will miss out on nothing by excluding Blue Beetle from your watchlist.

-A Pen Lady

Directed: Angel Manuel Soto  Runtime: 2h 7m   Rated: PG-13  Screenwriter: Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer  Studio: Warner Bros.  Cast: Xolo Maridueña, Bruna Marquezine, Becky G, Susan Sarandon, George Lopez

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

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Director & Screenwriter: Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert  Runtime: 2h 19m  Rating: R  Studio: A24  Cast: Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ke Huy Quan, James Hong 

Metaphysical, Philosophical, Enlightened, Trippy, Emotional,

Everything Everywhere All At Once won the Academy Awards for Best Picture. It had a solid cast, great directing, and cinematography. The script was well-written, though the story was weird as flark to me. 

Michelle Yeoh is incredible (as always) as a Chinese female Dr. Strange knock-off named Evelyn. With hotdog fingers, googley-eyes, and repeated references to a multi-verse, it’s a pretty apt parallel. She is pushed through multiple points in the multi-verse, where she encounters various versions of herself, which are all vastly different from her, of course, where she alone has to save all universes by interacting with her other selves. All while during an IRS audit by Agent Beaubeirdre (Curtis). Who doesn’t want to experience an acid trip or mental breakdown while at the IRS? This is the most minor mind-bending aspect of EEAAO. 

 Along the way, she encounters other versions of her husband, Waymond (Quan), daughter Joy (Hsu), and father, Gong Gong (Hong). All give fantastic multi-faceted performances. Playing one version of a character is one thing, but playing multiple versions of that character is another level of acting ability. 

Brian Le, Michelle Yeoh, Andy Le in ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once.’ 
Image: A24 via entertainmentweekly.com

The set designs are believable in the mundane, like the laundromat and apartment, to vivid and surreal other places. At a point, a person explodes into confetti just by being touched. While that’s bizarre, it’s also creative. Most of this film is full of examples of eccentric displays of behavior that borders on off-the-rails fun, and where the hell is this going? What’s the point of all this? This is the point, the second act, where I was done. There is so much going on simultaneously with no sense of where most of it connects to something else. Madness; it’s just chaotic. 

It’s not lost on me that this chaos personified parallels the madness we all face in life. A whole host of random shit we encounter and thus must deal with where from the outside it looks like total anarchy, and only from our inside takes does any of it make sense or have meaning. That mixed in with a question of “what if” about our potential and how and where our choices in life lead us. Family is also a big theme in this wacky film. Like the protagonist, there’s nothing humorous about my life. While I wish I could find solace in this cinematic display to enlighten people, they are not alone; they’re all on a similar, trippy ride, I can’t. It’s not my cup of tea, and that’s okay.

Stephanie Hsu, Ke Huy Quan, Michelle Yeoh, & Jame Hong in ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once.’ 
Image: A24 Studios via Syfy.com

That’s the beauty of so many stories and points of view within a global film industry; everyone can tell a story that’s (ideally) meaningful in some way to some.

One of my first thoughts on this film was, what were the writers on when they wrote this? I thought the same thing about the original Willie Wonka movie with Gene Wilder once I understood what hard drugs were because I didn’t enjoy it as a kid. I can watch it now as an adult, and maybe I’ll come around someday, too, for Everything Everywhere All At Once. Despite my aversion to this movie, I’d still say put it on your watchlist because if the story doesn’t bother you, you’ll find a well-directed and performed two hours of entertainment. 

-A Pen Lady

Movie Reviews

The Marvels (2023)

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Directed: Nia DaCosta  Runtime: 1h 45m  Rated: PG-13  Studio: Marvel Screenwriter: Nia DaCosta, Megan McDonnell, Elissa Karasik  Cast: Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, Iman Vellani, Samuel L. Jackson, Zawe Ashton, Saagar Shaikh, Zenobia Shroff, Mohan Kapoor

This is the perfect example of how to do a movie trailer! That was an excellent use of a Beastie Boys song, too.

The Marvels has a solid, serious plot yet, at the same time, is lighthearted and fun. After the decade-long buildup to Avengers: Endgame and Infinity War, Marvel Studios had nothing left in the tank, and phases 4 and 5 showed that. The best thing to come from those periods was their TV show, Ms. Marvel. The titular character in the show, Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel, played by Iman Vellani, is the burst of fresh energy the MCU desperately needed. Iman, like Kamala, is every comic book superhero fan personified by her character’s unbridled wonder and enthusiasm. She represents what every kid (and some adults) wonders, ‘What if I had superpowers?’ 

Kamala’s biggest role model is Captain Marvel/Carol Danvers (Larson). Larson reprises her role in what is effectively the second Captain Marvel movie. Larson and Villani are joined by Teyonah Parris, who reprises her role from WandaVision as a grown version of Monica Rambeau. Their mix of technical, brooding, and unabashed joyful personalities create this solid dynamic. And what makes the audience feel for the characters and their journey as they are thrown together. 

Iman Villani, Brie Larson, & Teyonah Parris in ‘The Marvels’ Image: Marvel Studios via Complex.com

This film still doesn’t address why Carol hasn’t aged in thirty years but shows why she never returned to Earth. That is the springboard for the plot of The Marvels. While the Kree are still entirely unlikeable in this film, because of Carol’s actions, you can feel why the villain of this film is doing what she is. Zawe Ashton plays Dar-Benn, the (now) leader and general of the Kree. 

I liked how The Marvels built on the origin story of Kamala’s powers and seamlessly and believably worked it into space, the Kree, and time travel. Those are where Carol and Monica operate, along with Nick Fury (Jackson) and Goose the Flurken. It feels organic in their meetup rather than manufactured as an excuse to get these characters together in the same room (project). I especially loved that they have Kamala’s family in the film, too! They are all wonderful in the Ms. Marvel TV show and a welcome addition to the film as well. I love the energy and love they all display. So happy they were included. 

Iman Vellani, Saagar Shaikh, Zenobia Shroff, & Mohan Kapoor in Marvel Studios film ‘The Marvels’ 
Image Credit: Marvel Studios via Geekculture.com

The first Captain Marvel film, and Brie Larson in particular, have endured a lot of hate and bullshit since its 2019 release, all of which is unnecessary. Many don’t love Iman Villani because viewers don’t like a TV show geared towards a younger audience. Or, they don’t respect that heroes are global and come from cultures different from Steve Rogers’s. Haters gonna hate. The MCU is a worldwide phenomenon, and as such, it should represent heroes from many backgrounds. While many movies come from America, it’s not just us who watch them. Many people worldwide come across this blog, so if this content isn’t your thing, don’t rag on it. Move on. 

Only some things need to be CGI heavy, and The Marvels is a good blend of special effects and actual people. It connects to the multiverse and answers previously unanswered questions while leaving the doors open to other areas of the MCU. Those areas can be tied to existing ones fans still hope to see manifested on screen. I appreciate the story of The Marvels for what it is: a needed stepping stone or foundational piece to building up new characters and stories. Viewers who always expect constant action without the buildup to the action don’t have an appreciation for storytelling. They also don’t have an attention span. I say that, and I have ADHD! Viewers are expected to care about the plot when watching a TV show or film and to be invested in the character’s journey. To do that, you need a buildup.

Zawe Ashton as Dar-Benn in ‘The Marvels’ Image: Marvel Studios via heroichollywood.com

The Marvels is the return to a fun comic-based story with a point the MCU sorely needed. It helps set up the re-entry for old and new characters, continuing to intertwine Earth, space, and beyond and all the characters that come with it. The MCU’s phases four and five were a horrible intermission break, but time will show how the start of the second act with The Marvels was the way to go. This movie belongs on your watchlist. 

-A Pen Lady

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Moonfall (2022)

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Directed: Roland Emmerich  Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 2h 10m Studio: Lionsgate Movies Screenwriter: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser, Spencer Coen 

Cast: Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Charlie Plummer, Michael Peña, Kelly Yu

Some movies are “so bad, they’re good,” which is a polite way of stating ‘it sucks, but not so much I couldn’t sit through it again.’ Moonfall is no such movie.

Watching the trailer for Moonfall, I cringed and snickered while the lines from a Britney Spears song popped into my brain regarding director and writer Roland Emmerich; “Oops!…I did it again!” 

In Moonfall, it’s not an all-out alien invasion, this time out to destroy Earth. No, it’s the ludicrous, deeply implausible manner in which the moon will swing around Earth until it smashes into it completely. 

Emmerich certainly has a genre type he likes to make, but his problem isn’t the genre; he can’t write anything original for it anymore. He suffers from the same issues as director/writer James Cameron; they recycle their past works with new packaging. It’s reminiscent of a bad copy-and-paste job for a word file. We, the audience, see it and the flaws, but why do we keep going to see these? Continuing to see these insults to cinema is (partly) why studios keep green-lighting these projects. We, the movie-goers, must stop this crazy cycle! Other filmmakers are guilty of this too, but it takes a certain level of arrogance and stupidity to keep letting it happen with high-budget projects. How many regurgitations of the same story from the same filmmaker do we need? 

Halle Berry & Patrick Wilson in Lionsgate Movies ‘Moonfall’ via NYT.com

Besides Moonfall giving off watered-down Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow, Armageddon, and Transformers vibes, in the weakest sense, plot and storyline-wise, is the terrible dialogue! Point of observation, if you, the writer, write lines so frequently, in a non-comedic attempt, that has viewers thinking, “no shit, Sherlock,” or “thank you, Captain Obvious,” so much you could get half drunk a third of the way in, you need to rewrite. Or burn the script and start again. 

Even a good cast couldn’t have saved Moonfall from this poorly-written script, even with a good director. Yet, with Moonfall, the writing is mediocre (I’m being kind), the plot/story is ridiculous…and the acting. They may be lovely people, but when Halle Berry and John Bradley are your prominent cast members, even next to Patrick Wilson, what about that casting choice implies this film won’t be an abject failure? Halle Berry is the top billing for this film; I know it’s going to suck before I ever watch the trailer (totally misleading, BTW) because she can’t act! 

Image from Lionsgate Movie’s film ‘Moonfall’ via Polygon.com

The characters are all just…there. You can tell who’s related, who can’t stand who (and why), and how others are connected. Cool. It’s the end of the world, so who wouldn’t want their families safe? Still, none of them have depth or develop into someone or a subplot you want to root for. Why bother watching if you’re not invested in the characters or the story? 

There are so many plot holes and basic scientific blunders; the moon might as well be real Swiss cheese! How many people are required to launch a space shuttle? Three? Five? Oh, and the arrogance factor! A global catastrophe is occurring, and America is the only country to act or have a say in what to do about the moon. And, of course, there are nukes. At least in Emmerich’s Independence Day, there was communication and cooperation, or attempts at it. Here, no one but NASA is in charge until even they say, “fuck it, I’m out.” It’s a wonder the writers of this film had the balls to think the sequel they set this film up for would ever see the light of day. That will never happen! 

John Bradley in ‘Moonfall’ by Lionsgate Movies via DigitalSpy.com

If Independence Day 3 ever happens, I’d rather see that than watch this film again, let alone a sequel. Comparatively, Independence Day: Resurgence was a far superior film (that Emmerich only directed, thankfully) worth rewatching, or just about any other disaster/apocalyptic movie. 

Moonfall isn’t “so bad it’s good;” it’s a master class on multiple things not to do in a film. Ever. That’s nothing to waste your free time on, so skip placing this movie on your watchlist.

-A Pen Lady

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Jurassic World (2015)

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Jurassic World (2015)

Directed: Colin Trevorrow  Rated: PG-13  Runtime: 2h 4m  Studio: 

Screenwriter: Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Derek Connolly, Colin Trevorrow

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty Simpkins, Nick Robinson, BD Wong, Vincent D’ Onofrio, Judy Greer

Jurassic World is built on the foundations of the Jurassic Park Trilogy. “Welcome to Jurassic Park” is one of the most iconic lines in a movie in the past thirty years. Audiences’ love of this franchise has endured because it’s a solid, fun story. The bar was set high for Jurassic World.

Now, you don’t need to have seen the original films to enjoy this one, but some moments and scenes pay homage to them. This film dives right into a dinosaur theme park that’s been open for years. Thousands of people have come and gone. In this premise alone, this film exceeds its predecessor. Yet, it was the most logical place to continue this franchise. One of the attributes that work in this series favor is that no one has copied it or tried to reboot it in three decades. That makes the opening/title sequence of this film so smile-inducing. The music, imagery, and font are iconic and give the audience a taste of what’s in store. 

The Indominus Rex from ‘Jurassic World’ Image: Universal Studios via ILM.com

Viewers get to see this lush, detailed, rich island theme park environment with attributes that would absolutely pull in customers if it were real. Despite the obvious concerns of such a park, emulating the hallmarks of resort theme parks, visually and practically, makes it a huge step up from John Hammond’s original park. 

While it’s not essential, per se, to the plot, I have questions. What happened to the remains of the original dinosaurs, the first-generation ones that died out? How long did that take based on the lifespans of the varying breeds? Jurassic World has been open for years; how long is that? They needed time to survey, tear up old structures, build new ones, and create the new dinosaurs. With all the time involved, how did no one learn from the events of the last three films? 

Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins in ‘Jurassic World’ Image: Universal via thehollywoodreporter.com

A tremendous benefit of new technology and CGI advances is that the animals look much better! More realistic. It allows the actors to interact more efficiently with what ends up being added after the fact, all the things that chase them. BD Wong is back as Dr. Henry Wu, the curator/creator of the resurrected dinosaurs. Here his character is evolved, given greater scope. In the first film, he’s a younger lab man who’s not truly part of the plot. In Jurassic World, his inclusion is one of the story’s main threads, granting the franchise a more robust continuity. BD Wong is a talented actor with a range of characters depicted in his filmography, and I’m glad they could get him back to reprise this role. 

I love Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire, the director of operations of Jurassic World. She’s polished refined, but with grit. Her performance, energy, and presence as the work-a-holic auntie-in-charge of a workplace gone sideways are brilliant and fun. Her chemistry with Chris Pratt’s Owen Grady works too. He’s the perfect mix of sassy and ‘those things will eat you alive, keep your shit together’ employee you’d want to work with. Once upon a time, people wanted to dig up dinosaur fossils as a career with more earnest; now, in a world with living dinosaurs, you can train them, like Owen. Specifically, he trains raptors. The methodology behind this practice on-screen is believable enough not to be questioned, letting the viewer enjoy its idea. 

Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt, Nick Robinson, Ty Simpkins in ‘Jurassic World’ Image: Universal Studios via insider.com

You can’t have a theme park without kids, so of course, Jurassic World has a few of its own. Claire’s nephews Zack (Robinson) and Gray (Simpkins) visit the park as everything goes wrong. They add a needed layer of youthfulness and extra characters to be at multiple places on the island. Their addition helps immensely with pace and permits more settings, dinosaurs, and action sequences. 

Jurassic World is an example of what happens when you ignore history-it will repeat itself. Denial may get you eaten. This installment of the Jurassic franchise has more people, more teeth, and more spectacle. It’s a fun movie worth a place on your watchlist. 

-A Pen Lady

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Ocean’s 8 (2018)

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Ocean’s 8 (2018)

Directed by: Garry Ross  Rated: PG-13  Runtime: 1h 51m

Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures  Screenwriter: Garry Ross, Olivia Milch

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Akwafina, Rihanna, Helena Bonham Carter

What would you do for a cut of 150 million dollars? 

Debbie Ocean (Bullock) took five years, eight months, and twelve days to plan out the biggest heist of her life. Now that she’s out of prison, all she needs is to assemble the best in each area she needs to get the job done. First, she starts with her number two, Lou Miller (Blanchett), then moves on to a jeweler (Kaling). Next up, a street con (Akwafina), the mom next door (Paulson), a fashion designer (Bonham Carter), and a hacker (Rihanna). 

Ocean’s Eight is an action-comedy built upon its Ocean franchise predecessors. The lead of an almost all-male cast was Danny (George Clooney), Debbie’s brother. A nice attribute about this movie is that you don’t need to watch the previous ones for anything to make sense. Ocean’s Eight isn’t the first heist caper, nor the last-yet its all-female cast (of a solid group of actresses) gives it a welcoming freshness. This ensemble of seasoned actresses is an exceptional collaboration of funny, serious, and nuanced. I loved the fresh take on a museum theft. Plenty of places or people have been robbed in movies, but I’ve never seen anyone try to do so at The Met Gala. 

Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Rihanna, Mindy Kaling, Akwafina, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Sarah Paulson in ‘Ocean’s Eight’ Image: Warner Bros. via nbcnews.com

The chemistry amongst the cast is energetic and makes the film that much more fun to watch. It’s cohesive and well-directed, with only a few plot questions about Debbie’s plan that jumped out at me. Ross utilizes music in the background to establish pace and tone throughout the movie. 

Ocean’s Eight isn’t overly serious or trying to reinvent this type of film, except for where it moved women from secondary characters to the primary ones. The playful nature of the setup to robbing The Met Gala is fantastic. It allows the audience to sit and enjoy a well-dressed movie with no other purpose than straightforward enjoyment. 

Sarah Paulson, Sandra Block, Rihanna, Cate Blanchett, Akwafina in ‘Ocean’s Eight’ Image: Warner Bros. Pictures via nbcnews.com

Every movie is meant to be enjoyed or appreciated; why watch otherwise? Ocean’s Eight is the confident, smooth reality break you didn’t know you wanted to see. A movie like that should be on your watchlist. 

-A Pen Lady

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Red Notice (2021)

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Red Notice (2021)

Directed by: Rawson Marshall Thurber  Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 1h 55m

Studio: Netflix  Screenwriter: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Cast: Gal Gadot, Ryan Reynolds, Dwayne Johnson

Red Notice aims to hit the mark as a fun international heist caper but misses the mark. 

The film is full of clichés and overused tropes such as “the muscle,” “wisecracking loudmouth,” and “a stunning woman.” Such stereotypes are tired and unimaginative, like Johnson and Gadot’s performances and on-screen chemistry. 

Red Notice tries for an Indiana Jones feel with its plot that hoped to infuse light-hearted humor as in The Mummy with Ryan Reynolds casting but failed to deliver. Johnson plays John Hartley, an FBI profiler who ends up teaming up with art thief Nolan Booth (Reynolds) to catch “The Bishop” (Gadot), who sets them both up. 

There is no thrill while watching this treasure hunt, full of escapades, double-crossing, and uninspired fight scenes. This movie was doomed from the moment it was green-lit because its casting choices are the only thing propping up the story’s weak execution. All three of the main cast can give better performances than Red Notice’s script provides. Red Notice may be Netflix’s most-watched film in its history, but it in no way should have cost 200 million dollars! It was an interesting story concept with a cast full of people audiences love to see, so why wouldn’t anyone expect it to be a hit? Especially after Covid restrictions were lifted in many places. While adorable Gal Gadot doesn’t do it for me as a believable baddy, Johnson is just too stiff. John Cena could have pulled off being an irritated FBI agent, better matched against Reynolds quips, and physically able to make more believable facial expressions at Gadot. 

Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds in ‘Red Notice’ Image: Netflix via latimes.com

The focus of critiquing the casting here is because it’s all Netflix used to sell this film as watchable in theaters (where it did terribly) or on its streaming site. So I’m left to ponder how long Dwyane Johnson can keep getting type-cast in Hollywood as the ‘attractive muscular leading man?’ What does he have left talent-wise as time goes on when he can’t throw people down or jump from high heights from helicopters anymore? Couple that with Gal Gadot’s less than solid filmography as anything other than ‘the hot woman doing something’ (despite her outstanding Wonder Woman performance) and her talent abilities are to called into question. Everyone expects so much from them, yet films like Red Notice smoother any chance for either’s potential to shine. 

It’s no surprise then that Ryan Reynolds is the best thespian of this trio. Yes, he usually does the wisecracks, the comedic-often raunchy characters, but he still has the most range. Like Johnson and Gadot’s characters, Reynolds displays as tired as if they know their characters are reaching too hard-all under fake smiles, sunglasses, and chest-puffing. 

Ryan Reynolds, Dwayne Johnson, Gal Gadot in ‘Red Notice’ Image: Netflix via NYTimes.com

Writer and director Rawson Thurber created a story that takes itself too seriously in its execution despite a bit of cheese. Nothing sets this over-hyped movie apart from others in its genre, except its MacGuffin title and overuse of the color red. 

Red Notice truly is nothing special and not worth your time or spot on a watchlist. 

-A Pen Lady

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

Matrix: Resurrections (2021)

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The Matrix: Resurrections (2021)

Directed by: Lana Wachowski  Rated: R  Runtime: 2h 28m  Studio: Warner Bros. 

Screenwriter: Lana Wachowski, David Mitchell, Aleksandar Hemon

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Jessica Henwick, Neil Patrick Harris, Jada Pinkett Smith, Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Jonathan Groff

The Matrix: Resurrections, director and creator Lana Wachowski take to heart the motto of House Greyjoy from the TV show Game of Thrones “what is dead may never die.”

As the film’s title might suggest, characters make a comeback in the fourth installment of the Matrix franchise, and the trailer gives it away too. If you haven’t seen any of the original three Matrix films, don’t read this review. By default, it will spoil them, which I am against doing. However, Resurrections is chalked full of flashbacks, references, and actual clips from all three of its predecessors, so it would be impossible to review this without bringing them up. 

I like a film where I can try to figure out the plot versus having it spelled out for me because some filmmaker or studio thinks I’m too ignorant to follow along otherwise. You understand my meaning if you’ve ever seen a Christopher Nolan film. The Matrix: Resurrections, on the other hand, is the cinematic mind fuck of the other variety. The one where I ask myself what did I watch? Usually, that doesn’t happen in the first ten minutes or less, but this film did. I’m pleased I didn’t pay to see this in theaters.

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Keanu Reeves, Carrie Anne Moss in ‘Matrix: Resurrections’ Image: Warner Bros.

In typical Matrix-style, there’s too much talking with an overload of technical jargon that many viewers won’t understand. In the film, they use the term modal/window pane. This term can have a few meanings, mostly mathematical and dealing with web pages. Its rationale is thrown out in a ten-second line that if you miss or don’t understand, you’ll be confused about what’s going on. That, of course, makes it hard to watch a movie when you’re busy trying to figure out what you missed. So, allow me to explain a bit if you want to watch this film and don’t understand webpage technical speak. 

When a game developer, for example, wants to add new content or fix something with an existing product, they do so on computers in what is referred to as a sandbox. That way, they can’t inadvertently crash a server, think of playing a game online with others, or cause errors they can’t fix. The sandbox keeps all the testing contained until the developer wants to let it become a part of the program. I hope that makes sense. That is what they mean by a modal in this film. Bugs (Henwick), the new white rabbit, observes something that she understands as truth, something from the past, yet knows it’s wrong. That leads to the question of why? Enter the plot. 

Jessica Henwick as Bugs in ‘The Matrix: Resurrections’ Image: Warner Bros. via thrillist.com

We learned man made machines and artificial intelligence in the trilogy, duh. At one point, the AI of machines went to war with mankind, and we lost. Machines took over the Earth. With no method of producing power the same way for themselves, the machines decided to grow human beings and use them as batteries. The Matrix was constructed to keep the billions of podded humans subconsciously oblivious to reality. In that, they allowed two main programs to run the system. That was, of course, a big reveal, the whole point of the second movie- getting to the architect. Culminating in the third film where Neo (Reeves) has a choice (not really.) Any of his options have a list of outcomes the machines find calculatedly acceptable, even wiping out Zion and starting over with a select few “freed” people. Those people won’t remember any of it, like wiping a hard drive and starting over. It’s a sick outlook on the ideas of fate, destiny, and free will. That no matter how hard you try, especially if you don’t know you’ve already lost, you are fucked. That twist about mankind’s chances was like a slap in the face. On the one hand, it was a good ending, as far as non-happy ones go. Yet, what was the point the Wachowski’s seemed to give the finger to everyone after creating all that?

Carrie Anne Moss as Trinity in ‘The Matrix: Resurrections’ Image: Warner Bros. via Screenrant.com

A viewer needs to remember those points about the original trilogy when watching the fourth installment. That no person has a choice, free will doesn’t exist. And the machines can wipe you like a computer, which is what the human brain is essentially, and put in what they want. That is how we find Neo again—saved by the machines and re-podded. In retrospect, he was carried off in the third film; he could have just been unconscious. Why fix his eyes, though? So Neo is reverted to being Mr. Anderson, another blue pill of the Matrix. Trinity (Moss) had rebar through her; she was dead! So I questioned while watching this how human was she? How much of her was synthetically replaced? The movie doesn’t address that at all; that’s an observation. Or why neither is, visually, 60-years older.

The logic, the construct for Neo/Thomas’s place in the Matrix again, isn’t original. I get the rationale; it’s a fitting “role” to put Thomas’s persona into after two decades. So he needs to be “freed” again. Yet this time, the Matrix is different. It’s gotten smarter about how to keep humans from wanting freedom. Sure it’s a reflection of people today being compliant and jacked in more to portable devices; straying from that is the architect of this. Well, he’s not an architect anymore; he’s an analyst. The parallel of an analyst and a psychiatrist is amusing, but Neil Patrick Harris does it so convincingly. 

Neil Patrick Harris as the analyst in ‘The Matrix: Resurrections’ vs. Helmut Bakaitis in ‘The Matrix Reloaded’ Image: Warner Bros. via Screenrant.com

While the addition of Henwick and Harris are well placed and logical, those of Mateen’s Morpheus and Groff’s Smith is not. The logic is that Morpheus and Agent Smith’s characters were the cause and effect of Neo/Mr. Anderson’s freeing and growth in the original trilogy, therefore he would need a representation of them again. Except that Smith was obliterated, purged, deleted, whatever, and Morpheus is long dead too. Yet, “what is dead may never die” springs up again because Lana Wachowski has a problem letting go. While Mateen is an exceptional actor, his Morpheus comes across as a cheap knockoff, a poor duplicate of the original with none of the commanding presence Lawerance Fishburne gave to the character. Groff’s Smith is an off-putting show of bad acting, or what I imagine it was like for him at his casting call audition. Like a drunk guy at Comicon embarrassing himself in front of Hugo Weaving. Yet, the Matrix (the system) seemed to get off on its display of a toxic work environment with a boss who was completely comfortable, causing an employee with known PTSD to be triggered. Yes, that’s an evident and well-deserved middle finger to Warner Brothers by Lana Wachowski. 

Jonathan Groff in ‘The Matrix: Resurrections’ Image: Warner Bros. via ew.com

The script for this film sucked. The story’s entire emotional resonance rests on how much you liked the Neo/Trinity love story in the first place or The Matrix trilogy in general. A script should be like the soul of a project, and The Matrix: Resurrections feels like a ghost. Reeves and Moss look tired, like their hearts were not in this project; others were utterly forgettable. In terms of entertainment, there is little meaningful purpose to be found in this movie. 

The plot has holes and questions that are never addressed, let alone answered. This lack of attention to detail creates an uneven pace far from seamless or cohesive. That, of course, is a significant reflection of the structure of the film, the direction. It highlights how much Lana needed Lily’s help with this project. The messages and themes crammed into this film go way beyond an excellent philosophical discussion creator. It’s a hot mess. Like throwing too much shit into the blender for a smoothie and thinking it will taste fine. Sure, there’s conflict and resolution, but how it’s propped up and how you get to the end is a gigantic waste of time and brain cells. 

Human batteries in ‘The Matrix: Resurrections’ Image: Warner Bros. via Polygon.com

Visually it was fine, the sets, costume, etc., a far departure from the look of 1999. The music was as expected, fitting and relevant- except the Rage Against the Machine cover during the credits. What kind of mood were they trying to elicit with that? 

When The Matrix first debuted, it was visually ground-breaking for others in cinema regarding what they could do with special effects. It’s part of what made The Matrix such a hit, things like bullet-time. Twenty years later, with nothing like that to hold it up, Resurrections highlights just how vital a great script is and how much nostalgia alone doesn’t matter in cinema. Resurrections is a rampant display of why “what is dead may never die” should very much have stayed dead from all parties involved. The Matrix: Resurrections shouldnever be on anyone’s watchlist, and I wish there were a blue pill to make me forget I ever did. 

-A Pen Lady

Film Critic, Movie Blog, Movie Reviews

This Means War (2012)

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This Means War (2012)

Directed by: McG  Runtime: 1h 38m  Rated: PG-13  Studio: 20th Century Fox

Screenwriter: Timothy Dowling, Simon Kinberg

Cast: Tom Hardy, Chris Pine, Reese Witherspoon

A happy working environment is what many hope to find at some point in life, alongside a profession we love. In This Means War CIA operatives, Tuck (Hardy) and FDR (Pine) live their best lives in a job they excel at, as they are lifelong friends. Who better to have your back? One is a ladies’ man, and the other, more reserved, but when the same woman catches their respective eyes, all bets are off. This is the premise of McG’s romantic comedy. 

What unfolds instead is an absurd bromance between childhood friends, now spies. As farces go about the American government, the CIA is a lukewarm placeholder in terms of relevance. The subplot was stale, adding nothing more than white noise to the background. The execution of this promising plot fails with the grace of a gymnast blunder posted on YouTube. 

The best on-screen chemistry is between Hardy and Pine. It might have been a funnier movie if Witherspoon had been a faceless woman, start to finish. Why? It’s not all that funny and certainly not romantic. Unless relentless stalking, abuse of work resources, and taking shots at one another like a game of wack-a-mole is your idea of true friendship and romance. This film promised to be a fun popcorn flick with an exceptionally talented and attractive cast; however, nothing could save this pointless screenplay from being anything other than a pig with lipstick.  

 Tom Hardy and Chris Pine in “This Means War.” Image credit: Kimberly French/20th Century Fox

These three actors all have a plethora of films between them that are better to watch than this. Watch any of them. Watch anything that doesn’t involve McG or Timothy Dowling, and you roll the dice with Simon Kinberg. This flop has no place on your watchlist. 

-A Pen Lady